Two sides

I know, I just started posting again.

However, I always try writing in order to be productive in the existential sense, not in the sense of duties that other people want me to fulfill.

So, I might call myself an addict.

My parents see me as a workaholic, since I always seem to write, but I, for one, see myself as a Social Media addict.

In a good and bad way at the same time.

I use Social Media to learn from other and from the world, and to write, produce, and share my knowledge, philosophy, motivation and love for efficiency and effectivity (so the real deep meaning persuing a goal and tools to improve working on that goal spark my interest).

However, an addiction is an addiction.

I learn so much, then have the urge to write that and additional thoughts that were created as a byproduct down so much, that I usually forget to get to sleep on time.

Just like right now, as I am writing this article.

I should’ve been asleep an hour ago already. And here I am. Writing.

It has the good side, of being productive and chasing my passion and dreams. The bad side is, I need to learn time management first, in order to keep up this blog together with my full-time job and school life that I have, otherwise, one of them will surely collapse, and pull the other one down with it – all the way down the abyss of regret.

I guess I need to pull a full-stop first, and then start rolling slowly again.

After my exam phase is over, I might be able to drive carefully with the letters again.

But for now – A Step of Initiative for me and for everyone following me (which I don’t get, but it kind of means something I guess). So here, the stereotypical cliché-line some of you may have waited for:

You mean the world to me. Thank you for existing and having proactively acted so that you subscribed to that blog, either by accident or real unprobable accident of consciousness.

Now – The Initiative is to get off of Social Media for at least a month.

I know, a perfectionist nightmare to start right off in the middle of the month.

But I kind of trained my brain to do exactly that: Doing what is uncomfortable get me the perfect point of struggle and pain so that I kind of start feeling (at least I hope it’s feeling) something.

Don’t know what, but it is something.

I guess pain is the real meaning in life.

Because as soon as something gives you a sense of urgency, it has meaning. No matter what you think or what it means to the universe, or to the concept of time and thinking (of other people, or the concept of people thinking about the concept about thinking which means thinking of the meaning of the thinking of people…. you get what I’m saying I hope) in general. Just doing meaningful things is meaning enough to get meaning into this world.

Take me as an example. A former nihilist, now kinda getting into Daoism (the original nihilistic version of Daoism) because it reflects what I have figured out myself (Dualism). Now I see that it already exists, and can be glad, that my theories got approved, before I needed to get through the struggle of writing a book and getting it approved.

I am still going to write a book though. It will be fun, I am certain.

But for now, like I said, I am going to get through even more pain (now that I am on the verge of feeling things again, that might be called a drama? Not sure about comedy or tragedy yet, that’ll probably show in the future now.) and get rid of scrolling and binge-watching educational youtube-stuff. No matter how hard my curiousity will try to convince me that it’s healthy (it is right in the existential context, but wrong in the situational context) to work on myself. I need to work on my duties, that means, working for other people, in order to work on myself first.

That’s the base, and not how it should stay forever.

As long as I work for grades and results in my company, I must commit to that first.

When it’s time, I then can finally start fully focusing on myself, my dreams, this blog, and philosophy.

Until then – Take it as a challenge for yourself too: Start commiting to your duties, when you seemed to slack off. Do everything you can. If meaning lies in feeling good as a reward for your deeds, then I can promise you, your deeds will make you feel good when you keep working hard. As soon as you can: Start working for yourself your dreams, the things you want to really do before dying. Otherwise, endure until it is that time.

I learned, that you only really want, what you subconsiously know, you can achieve. Otherwise you wouldn’t want it, right?

Make it comfortable yourself, so that enduring might not let you suffer.

For that, you need to make your current „uncomfortable“ comfortable, that means normal.

Wake up earlier, learn a new recipe to cook, start working out, or try new techniques, if you aren’t a beginner anymore. Challenge yourself as far as it is healthy.

For me, that means quitting Social Media for now.

I’m tired. That’s why I keep repeating myself again and again.

For now, this is a real „Until next time“:

„Trying to get off of the bad side of Social Media addiction for a while. Don’t expect much, however, I don’t count being productive and posting my articles to the „bad side“. When I don’t scroll, I write. So don’t be surprised if there’s articles, but do not expect them either.“




Veröffentlicht von Ventusator

Eigentlich bin ich manchmal ganz nett. Sometimes I may actually be nice.

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